The return to the working week is always a struggle after the weekend, and it can be quite hard to immediately switch your brain into working gear on Monday morning. Monday often finds a worker more adept at song lyrics and recipes than numbers.

Friends and family who work on weekends may bemoan us as the luckiest of the lucky, but here we all are having a quick internet break as we attempt to rouse ourselves with copious amounts of caffeine and the occasional bit of gossip, that’s right, we see that Facebook tab open!

So, today we thought we would bring you something completely different to brighten up the post-weekend slump. Here are some of our favourite accountancy jokes:

  1. What is the definition of Accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
  2. What do accountants do for fun? Add the telephone book.
  3. What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he is boring.
  4. How do you spot an extroverted accountant? He/she looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.
  5. What does an accountant say when you ask the time? “It’s 10.42 am and 10 seconds; no wait – 11 seconds, no wait – 12 seconds, no wait…”
  6. When does a person decide to become an accountant?
  7. When he realizes that he doesn’t have the charisma to become an undertaker.
  8. What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.
  9. How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
  10. An accountant is reading nursery rhymes to her young child. When she is finished, she answers her son’s question: “No, son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn’t be tax deductible, but I like your thinking.”
  11. An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night,” he says. “Have you tried counting sheep?” inquires the doctor. “That’s the problem — I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”